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I thought I could just move on and accept myself the way I was. But I found quitting self-righteousness just as difficult as stopping my dirty daydreams. I would pleasure myself in the darkest ways I could imagine at night, and the next day lead my peers in worship of a God I no longer understood. Part of me wanted to be punished while the other wanted me to be righteous. Neither wanted to give up. I couldn’t just throw God away, I couldn’t just throw away the propaganda fed to me by my parents. I couldn’t throw that away any more than I could throw away my sexual desires. My religion was too ingrained. My sexuality was a part of who I was. I was being torn in half by my desires. Then I met Dana, the woman who would one day become my wife. Her beauty wasn’t in keeping with my ideals. My stepsister was far prettier in comparison. Dana was overweight. Her hair was way too long, like a flower girl from the sixties. She had large breasts, but I could tell they were the kind that sagged. "I won't lie to you any further. It's bad, really bad baby. I'm sorry if I scared you hon. I didn't mean too. I was... all I was trying to... I felt that I could maybe save some part of..." What were his intentions? Would he have really killed the girl his daughter claimed to be William Shipley? Given his state of mind at the time he reasoned, yes, he might very well have done just that. Only a miracle had spared him from becoming a murderer. He was still going to be a fugitive however and if his worst fears hadn't come true, they almost assuredly would soon. He was going to have to be grateful that it wasn't his daughter that had tried on the SKIN.Carrie echoed his very thoughts. "Would you have really hurt William Daddy?" I didn't. That's all I can say. None of this is your fault baby. This is my fault." Jason said. The enormity of his responsibility bore down upon him. It threatened to crush him with the weight of it. His heart ached for forgiveness. He had dashed any hope of a.
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